Thursday 13 June 2013

Stone's, inches...

Every now and then, the locals like to say things like 'I'm x inches tall', or 'I've put on x stones and need a diet', etc.. Now, it's obvious by my looks and accents that I'm not a local. They actually know that I'm not a local! They actually know that no non-local ever understands what they're blabering about inches and stones. And they know that all of the non-locals do not plan to learn about inches and stones. Still, they say it!
I started to consider this inch and stone thing like a bit of a good colonizer - bad colonized relationship. Locals (aka British, aka the good colonizers) are convinced of the superiority of their measure systems. Therefore, they nicely want to teach them to those natives of lands with inferior measure systems. Now these natives (us, the foreigners) are stubborn and refuse to learn! (the bad colonized part) The reasons for this stubbornness are that 1) it's impossible to understand such strange systems; 2) we consider it an eccentricity of the locals (aka good colonizers); 3) we consider that accepting such systems is beyond our inferior capacities as natives from the metric-system lands.
As such, we just adopt the innocent style of the colonized by nodding to what the colonizers are saying with a meek smile. After that, we try to calculate how many cms the locals measures or just assume that those stones the local put on is a few kgs more than desirable. That makes the locals rejoice thinking 'here's a once uncivilized human being who has risen to our inch-stone statute... oh, the British civilizing the world'! And we, the supposedly now civilized creatures, are thinking: 'these British are so funny and eccentric! I'll have to tell my friends back home about them!' Oh harmony in the colonized-colonizer relation!

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